There was recently some articles about Candace Cameron Bure defending a couple who committed to stay virgins until they were married. On The View, the hostesses were poking fun at the couple for being chaste and were commenting that 30 should be the limit for staying a virgin, and that was pushing it for them. It made me wonder how the views of society have shifted so greatly.
It wasn't too long ago that people, especially women, were scorned for not being chaste. And now all of society praises the loss of virtue outside of the sanctity of marriage. It is those who choose to stay virtuous in the sight of God that are ridiculed and mocked. I really appreciate that Candace stood up for her beliefs at the risk of being ridiculed. She pointed out that in some circles being chaste until marriage is not an unusual thing. I think she is courageous for always standing up for what she believes in. It's one thing to stand up for your beliefs in school or with your friends and co-workers. I think it's a whole other challenge to do so in front of millions of people I know she'll get a lot of ridicule for her stances on a lot of things but I wish her the best and hope that not only her courage will spread but also her virtue. I hope that young girls will start to look up to someone like Candace as a role model.
Saturday, November 7, 2015
Wednesday, October 28, 2015
Marriage Should Be Forever
I was on my way to work today when they announced on the radio two new celebrity divorces. One couple is getting a divorce after 3 years and another after 2 years. When I hear about Hollywood divorces I have the fleeting thought, "why couldn't they work it out?" But then I move on from there and don't think much more of it. However, reading more about the churches stance on divorce and how much easier it is to obtain one, I find I have become more appalled by the short marriages. It was said of the 2 year marriage that the relationship has "run its course." If a divorce wasn't so easy to obtain would the couple have gotten married in the first place? It's as though people get married now with the thought in their head, "if it doesn't work out we'll just get a divorce and start over with someone else." If divorce wasn't so easy to obtain how many of these couples would work with someone to try and resolve their problems? How many of these people would never have gotten married in the first place if they couldn't just end a marriage because it had "run its course?"
I know there are some situations that may make a divorce necessary. But the relationship has "run its course" does not seem to me a valid reason for ending a marriage. Elder Dallin H Oaks gave a talk on Divorce in May 2007. There are a couple of things he said in this talk that really stood out to me:
"The concept that society has a strong interest in preserving marriages for the common good as well as the good of the couple and their children has been replaced for many by the idea that marriage is only a private relationship between consenting adults, terminable at the will of either."
"The weakening of the concept that marriages are permanent and precious has far-reaching consequences. Influenced by their own parents’ divorce or by popular notions that marriage is a ball and chain that prevents personal fulfillment, some young people shun marriage. Many who marry withhold full commitment, poised to flee at the first serious challenge."
I know there are some situations that may make a divorce necessary. But the relationship has "run its course" does not seem to me a valid reason for ending a marriage. Elder Dallin H Oaks gave a talk on Divorce in May 2007. There are a couple of things he said in this talk that really stood out to me:
"The concept that society has a strong interest in preserving marriages for the common good as well as the good of the couple and their children has been replaced for many by the idea that marriage is only a private relationship between consenting adults, terminable at the will of either."
"The weakening of the concept that marriages are permanent and precious has far-reaching consequences. Influenced by their own parents’ divorce or by popular notions that marriage is a ball and chain that prevents personal fulfillment, some young people shun marriage. Many who marry withhold full commitment, poised to flee at the first serious challenge."
We should take these things to heart. Marriage should not be a fleeting thing, it should not be something we get into until it has "run its course." it is a commitment between you, your spouse, and God. And if you do it right, seek help and guidance when things get rough, if you both remain honest and uplifting to one another, if you both repent when needed, and stay worthy of the temple blessings then the course your relationship runs will be an eternal course. And I think if you love someone enough to marry them, to have children with them, and to want to spend the rest of your life with them, shouldn't you love them enough to want to be with them for eternity too?
Wednesday, October 21, 2015
Lessons I've learned
Over the past few weeks I've been learning more about The Family: A Proclamation to the World.
There were always things that I was on the fence about, and somethings I still am. But reading different talks from the Apostles has really helped me to think more clearly on some subjects. Two things that have stood out to me the most so far are, who the proclamation was meant for and how important gender roles are.
Firstly, this was not meant just for the members of the church. The Lord means for all his words to apply to all the world. That would be like saying that the commandments are only meant for this who believe in God. But just because you don't believe in something, doesn't mean it's not true. Just because everybody thought the world was flat doesn't mean it really wasn't. Just because people don't believe in the Book of Mormon or modern day prophets does not mean this isn't the truth.
Second, men and women were created equal, but we each have our specific roles. There are things only women will ever be able to do (like giving birth) and things only men are meant to do. Without our specific roles in a relationship life would be chaos. I have nothing against a woman having a career, or even earning more money than her husband. However, I do believe the most important role a woman can ever have is that of mother. There are things that children should be learning from their mothers. There are things children should be learning from their mothers, such as compassion and care taking. These are skills every child should learn. Yes men are compassionate, and yes they can be caretakers. But these are skills that come more naturally to women, therefore it may be easier for women to teach these skills to their children. Men can teach their children to be protectors. Protectors of beliefs, of virtue, and of family.
In a talk given by Elder David A Bednar (Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan) he specifically says "Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity" They are entitled, not that having a mother and father are a privilege for a special few. But that each and every child born is entitled to a mother and father. There are always special circumstances. A spouse passes away, or one spouse leaves. But that does not mean the children are not still entitled to the opportunity to have the influence of both a mother and a father. The reason they are entitled to both is because each parent offers their own special skills and talents to raising children. And some of those talents are unique to each gender. As Elder Bednar puts it, "Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences."
There were always things that I was on the fence about, and somethings I still am. But reading different talks from the Apostles has really helped me to think more clearly on some subjects. Two things that have stood out to me the most so far are, who the proclamation was meant for and how important gender roles are.
Firstly, this was not meant just for the members of the church. The Lord means for all his words to apply to all the world. That would be like saying that the commandments are only meant for this who believe in God. But just because you don't believe in something, doesn't mean it's not true. Just because everybody thought the world was flat doesn't mean it really wasn't. Just because people don't believe in the Book of Mormon or modern day prophets does not mean this isn't the truth.
Second, men and women were created equal, but we each have our specific roles. There are things only women will ever be able to do (like giving birth) and things only men are meant to do. Without our specific roles in a relationship life would be chaos. I have nothing against a woman having a career, or even earning more money than her husband. However, I do believe the most important role a woman can ever have is that of mother. There are things that children should be learning from their mothers. There are things children should be learning from their mothers, such as compassion and care taking. These are skills every child should learn. Yes men are compassionate, and yes they can be caretakers. But these are skills that come more naturally to women, therefore it may be easier for women to teach these skills to their children. Men can teach their children to be protectors. Protectors of beliefs, of virtue, and of family.
In a talk given by Elder David A Bednar (Marriage is Essential to His Eternal Plan) he specifically says "Children are entitled to birth within the bonds of matrimony, and to be reared by a father and a mother who honor marital vows with complete fidelity" They are entitled, not that having a mother and father are a privilege for a special few. But that each and every child born is entitled to a mother and father. There are always special circumstances. A spouse passes away, or one spouse leaves. But that does not mean the children are not still entitled to the opportunity to have the influence of both a mother and a father. The reason they are entitled to both is because each parent offers their own special skills and talents to raising children. And some of those talents are unique to each gender. As Elder Bednar puts it, "Because of their distinctive temperaments and capacities, males and females each bring to a marriage relationship unique perspectives and experiences."
Wednesday, June 17, 2015
Adventures in L.A.
This weekend Sarah and I went on our first adventure, taking advantage of the free flights we get with her job. We flew into L.A. for the day just to explore Hollywood. We purchased some combo tickets on the Madame Tussaud web site, giving us access to 4 different "attractions." We made it safely through the L.A. traffic and parked at Madame Tussaud's wax museum (never to be confused with the terrible Hollywood wax museum), picked up our tickets, and made our plan for the day.
First, we had some fun in the wax museum. It was fun to see some of the more recent celebrities (Sarah kept thinking they were moving). But since we grew up on the older movies we really enjoyed seeing some of the older actors, and had fun posing with them. I especially had fun directing Sarah with her poses, she takes direction very well. She's in most of the pictures since I'm more comfortable behind the camera while she enjoys being in front of it, this is why we make a great team. We finished up our time in the museum hungry so our next stop was a place to eat.
We had a few options for lunch, including the Hard Rock Cafe. After we looked at that menu we decided the prices were too high for our little budgets so we headed over to Buffalo Wild Wings, or at least that's where we thought we were headed. We ended up having to get directions and experienced walking up and down the busiest part of Hollywood Blvd. After sharing a meal we headed over to our next "attraction," which was a behind-the-scenes tour. They were away on a tour and the next one was at 4pm, so we had some time to kill.
We had passed the Hollywood Museum during one of our treks up and down the street, since we had already paid for tickets with our combo deal that was our next stop. The Hollywood Museum is located in the original Max Factor building and still had some of the display counters in the lobby. There were three levels to this building and we only had about an hour to see it all. Usually in museums I like to take my time but since we were on a time crunch we had to speed through most of it. I wouldn't mind going back again to spend a little more time exploring.
After the museum, we rushed over to the behind-the-scenes tour. Normally this would include a tour of Grauman's Egyptian theater, but there was an event going on so we stood outside and learned the history of the theater and how Sid Grauman helped to change the film industry. Sid built his theater to get the wealthier people to start attending movies, back then it was just the poor who paid a nickel to see a silent movie. Sid also invented the movie premier, and up until he came along movie stars were simply movie actors/players. We also learned that the entrance to the theater for the Oscars is located inside a mall. They place red velvet curtains over the shop windows and the red carpet is rolled out. It takes 2 weeks to set up for the red carpet, which covers the street, and the paparazzi stand on the sidewalk on the other side of the street. These were just some of the things we learned on the walking tour. Although we had a lot of fun, Sarah and I were tired and ready to go home.
We got to the airport and found that not only was our flight booked, but there were about 50 people on standby and we were only halfway down the list. This meant we were not getting on the last flight of the night. We talked about just sleeping in the airport and waiting for the first flight of the morning. It turned out that the morning flight was also booked and had a waiting list. So I decided we were renting another car and driving the 6 hours to get home. It was a long 6 hours, we had to stop and sleep for at least 2 hours, but we made it to the Phoenix airport to pick up my car. Go tot my house with about only 5 minutes for me to wash my hair, change into Sunday clothes, and get to the church to hear Daniel give his talk. I had to leave after the talk t get to a Scout Committee meeting at 10, then I had an hour to kill before going to see Jeffrey be set apart as a Deacon. Once I finally got home at 1pm I lay down on my bed and slept until 6pm. And that was the end of my and Sarah's weekend adventure.
What we learned from all this:
First, we had some fun in the wax museum. It was fun to see some of the more recent celebrities (Sarah kept thinking they were moving). But since we grew up on the older movies we really enjoyed seeing some of the older actors, and had fun posing with them. I especially had fun directing Sarah with her poses, she takes direction very well. She's in most of the pictures since I'm more comfortable behind the camera while she enjoys being in front of it, this is why we make a great team. We finished up our time in the museum hungry so our next stop was a place to eat.
We had a few options for lunch, including the Hard Rock Cafe. After we looked at that menu we decided the prices were too high for our little budgets so we headed over to Buffalo Wild Wings, or at least that's where we thought we were headed. We ended up having to get directions and experienced walking up and down the busiest part of Hollywood Blvd. After sharing a meal we headed over to our next "attraction," which was a behind-the-scenes tour. They were away on a tour and the next one was at 4pm, so we had some time to kill.
We had passed the Hollywood Museum during one of our treks up and down the street, since we had already paid for tickets with our combo deal that was our next stop. The Hollywood Museum is located in the original Max Factor building and still had some of the display counters in the lobby. There were three levels to this building and we only had about an hour to see it all. Usually in museums I like to take my time but since we were on a time crunch we had to speed through most of it. I wouldn't mind going back again to spend a little more time exploring.
After the museum, we rushed over to the behind-the-scenes tour. Normally this would include a tour of Grauman's Egyptian theater, but there was an event going on so we stood outside and learned the history of the theater and how Sid Grauman helped to change the film industry. Sid built his theater to get the wealthier people to start attending movies, back then it was just the poor who paid a nickel to see a silent movie. Sid also invented the movie premier, and up until he came along movie stars were simply movie actors/players. We also learned that the entrance to the theater for the Oscars is located inside a mall. They place red velvet curtains over the shop windows and the red carpet is rolled out. It takes 2 weeks to set up for the red carpet, which covers the street, and the paparazzi stand on the sidewalk on the other side of the street. These were just some of the things we learned on the walking tour. Although we had a lot of fun, Sarah and I were tired and ready to go home.
We got to the airport and found that not only was our flight booked, but there were about 50 people on standby and we were only halfway down the list. This meant we were not getting on the last flight of the night. We talked about just sleeping in the airport and waiting for the first flight of the morning. It turned out that the morning flight was also booked and had a waiting list. So I decided we were renting another car and driving the 6 hours to get home. It was a long 6 hours, we had to stop and sleep for at least 2 hours, but we made it to the Phoenix airport to pick up my car. Go tot my house with about only 5 minutes for me to wash my hair, change into Sunday clothes, and get to the church to hear Daniel give his talk. I had to leave after the talk t get to a Scout Committee meeting at 10, then I had an hour to kill before going to see Jeffrey be set apart as a Deacon. Once I finally got home at 1pm I lay down on my bed and slept until 6pm. And that was the end of my and Sarah's weekend adventure.
What we learned from all this:
- Hollywood is dirty and nothing like in the movies (Ok, so I knew that from a previous experience)
- The "free" DVD's and CD's are not free and the giver expects a donation (otherwise they snatch it out of your hand)
- If you take a picture with one of the people dressed up they expect you to pay them (I am not willing to part with my money for a fake)
- You're not going to find any celebrities on Hollywood Blvd, unless your there for an award show (okay I already knew that too)
- The third driving lane, on the far right, is not safe to drive in as most people use it to park so you just shouldn't try to drive in that lane
- The most important lesson we learned...don't get the last flight of the day in case it is booked, and then find out the first flight of the next day is also booked. Luckily we only live 6 hours away and were able to rent a car and drive home
Thursday, June 4, 2015
This I Believe
I Believe in a Positive Attitude
As a child I was diagnosed with depression and was not very self aware of this. I never took medication for my depression, thought I was going to therapy because I couldn’t make friends, and by the time I got to junior high I was no longer going to therapy. In fact, I didn’t find out my official diagnosis until I read my medical records just before high school. For most of my teen years I was extremely negative and I had a difficult time staying happy. There were many nights I felt alone and would cry myself to sleep. It wasn’t until my early twenties, when I was diagnosed with a heart condition, that I started to look at the world differently. I decided to find something positive about my situation. I found that I was grateful that, although I had a heart condition, I could still get up and go to work and school. Despite my recent diagnosis, I was still blessed with good health.
This change in my attitude did not make my depression go away, it did not make any difficult situation better. What my attitude change did was make it easier to deal with the difficulties in my life. This “power of positive thinking” can take time and practice to perfect. Even after more than 10 years of this frame of thinking I still struggle at times. There are times I still find it difficult to find something positive, so instead I would find the lesson I learned. There are times when one thing after another happens and the only thing I can do is laugh; this may make me look a little crazy though.
One day, in my mid-twenties, I remember losing my wallet. I had driven from my home in Mesa to Peoria, 45 minutes away, only to discover my wallet was missing. I searched the house and the car, but could not find it anywhere, so I had to order a new driver’s license online. I printed a piece of paper that showed I was a licensed driver; I was to use this until I my new license arrived in the mail. Then on my way home the next day I was pulled over for a taillight being out. The officer asked for my license and registration, so I gave him the paper and started looking for the registration. It just happened that I borrowed my brother’s truck and I could not find the registration in the usual place. I called my dad, since he had been using the truck for work, and he told me a couple of places to look, but it was nowhere to be found. The officer was kind enough to send me off with a warning. At first this all put me in a bad mood, but the more I thought about it the funnier it seemed to me. What were the chances that the same weekend I lost my wallet, I also get pulled over in a borrowed car that does not seem to have the registration in it? All I could do was laugh at the whole situation. I’m pretty sure if someone was with me they would have thought I’d lost my mind, and maybe I had. From that time forward I found myself laughing at my situations more often. I started to find humor instead of letting it get me down.
When people refer to the “power of positive thinking” I now know from experience what they are talking about. Sometimes it takes a lot of work to find something positive. Other times I just have to laugh at myself. But what I believe is if I can find the positive in a situation I know I can handle anything.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)