Over the last few years I've been gaining more and more weight. Every time I looked in the mirror all I saw was the fat. More and More of it every day. A couple of years ago my weight crossed a line I swore I would never let it cross, and I have been struggling ever since.
I've looked into different diets but decided I cannot do them. When I deprive myself of something, sugar, carbs, whatever it may be, I end up binging on it when I lose my self-control. And I know myself well enough to know, I will always lose that self-control at some point. So I've discovered over time that the best option for me is portion control. Once I get into the habit of this it's easy to maintain. I cannot go the rest of my life eating no sugar, or no pasta (the love of my life), I need to eat in a way that is easy to maintain as part of my lifestyle. I need to be able to get some candy once in a while and not feel guilty about it, not feel like I'm "cheating." So portion control is the "diet" for me.
About a month and a half ago I started a 90 day workout challenge. I've started different challenges before, I usually didn't make it through the first week. I've done the gym, even when I was going to the MMA gym and doing Crossfit, before it became a fade, I was not as dedicated as I am now. The wonderful Deana introduced me to a youtube workout program called Bikini Body Mommy. Deana was telling me how it's only 20 minute workouts and how amazing it was. I'm not a mommy but I thought I would check it out, and I wouldn't have it any other way now.
Here's what's different about this workout program:
- I can do it in my own room
- I only need a set of dumbbells and a chair as equipment (I already had both of those)
- Most workouts only take about 20 minutes
- But most importantly: the trainer, Briana, is no Jillian Michaels. By this I mean she is trying to lose her baby fat. You get to see her struggle through some of the workouts, trying to lose weight, trying to get back into shape. She's not some ripped, super fit woman who works out 5 hours a day teaching classes and yelling at you. She is a mom, recording in her house, turning red faced and sweaty, struggling through some of the workouts. She's even had to modify some of the time, sometimes doing pushups on her knees, or stepping instead of jumping when doing burpees.
This is the most encouraging and exciting part of the program for me. It's not some fit woman telling me I can do it, and making everything look way easier than it really is. It's another woman working hard to get in shape, lose inches, be healthy, struggling with me.
Since doing these workouts I've lost very little weight, BUT I've started to lose fat, my muscles are more toned (I've turned into one of those people that has to stop and flex in the mirror). I feel stronger, slimmer, my pants are looser, and I'm gaining some of my confidence back. Gaining weight is not how I lost all my confidence but I do believe it played a part. I don't like to think that how I feel about myself is affected by how my body looks and feels to me, but I'm only human and that's how my brain works.
I have not lost a lot of weight, mostly because I still eat pretty crappy (work in progress), but I looked in the mirror this morning and thought, "I look good." I actually thought that about myself. After years of looking in the mirror and calling myself fat and gross and having a very hard time finding anything positive to say about myself I finally did it without having to think about it, without having to search for something positive to say. It just came to me. This is something we should all be doing, no matter how "fat" or "gross" we may think we are. We should all be able to look in the mirror every day and say, "my eyes are awesome today," "my hair is doing great things," "I look good" something good, anything. But sometimes it's hard to see past the things we hate about ourselves and want to change. This is still something I struggle with. Even after my initial positive thought I wanted to say something about my stomach or my hips but I refused, I did not let myself do it. I was able to walk away with a positive thought. It feels good to be thinking that about myself again.
I'm so excited not to only finish this workout but to start on the next one in May.
I was watching a show the other day and there was nudity in it. At first I was rationalizing it "Eh, it's nothing I haven't seen before." Then I started to wonder, when did I become so desensitized to this? When did seeing "just a little" become okay? When did this become NOT crossing a line?
Everyone has to draw a line in the sand, so to speak. And it seems that it is becoming harder and harder to not move that line just so we can tell ourselves we haven't crossed it. With the world throwing things at us, such as nudity and sex, on television, movies and books the line can start to become blurred, so we move it.
One day it's "just" sex in the show/movie/book, next it's a little nudity, then the next thing you know you're looking back and the first line you drew is so far behind, you can't even see it anymore. Man is asserting themselves and telling us this is not just okay to do/see, but it's normal. Satan is working so hard to lead us away from what we know to be right.
I was raised with certain standards, taught by both my parents and church leaders. I was taught what is right and wrong in the eyes of God, and then taught to make a choice. It seems that as I get older I have to work harder and harder to stop myself from moving that line, as though I've allowed myself to believe what the world believes. It can sometimes be difficult to assert one's self control and say, "NO, this is not okay!" I did turn off the show I was watching and told myself that I will not go back to it, no matter what! I've had to do this before and I'm sure I'll have to do it again.
Because despite what Wendy would always yell at me ("Oh, you're just SO perfect, aren't you?"), I am not perfect, I do give in to temptations and desires and curiosity. I am still a work in progress, but that's okay, as long as I'm aware of it and keep working at it.
I just read this article, http://finance.yahoo.com/news/15-tycoons-who-won-t-leave-their-fortunes-to-their-kids-195610442.html?page=1, about millionaires and billionaires not leaving an inheritance, or leaving very little, to their kids.
I think if I were in their position I would donate quite a bit to charity, and a small amount to the kids right after my death. But I would also set up trusts or something for the kids that they will inherit when they turn 50. And I wouldn't tell them about the trusts. This way they would still have to learn the value of hard work and they would have to earn their own money. But still receive the inheritance as a sort of reward, so to speak, for all the hard work they had already done.
There could even be stipulations on the trusts like, if they are an addict they must be sober for at least 2 years, or they have to hold down a job for at least 3 years or more. I wouldn't put a stipulation on it that they have to be married by a certain age or that they have to have kids, that's just not logical.
One would hope that if you teach your kids about hard work and the value of money then they will be hard workers anyway and may not "need" the inheritance money. But I think it would also be nice to leave them a large amount for later in life.
What would you do if you had large sums of money to leave behind?
I just read an article about the Swiss apologizing to Oprah Winfrey for a racist remark by an employee at a shop in Switzerland. Oprah was looking at purses in the shop and wanted to see a particular handbag, the cost was $38,000. The employee told her it was "too expensive," keep in mind the employee does not speak English natively.
Because the employee said this the world is now screaming RACIST!!! I say WTF? Seriously, this is what's wrong with the world today, someone says or does something and everyone automatically assumes it's racist or sexist, or whatever. Now there are the unfortunate occasions that this may be the case. However, from the article I read about this particular incident the racism is assumed. The article did not say the employee gave a dirty look when she said it. It did not say the employee acted disgusted or anything like that. No the employee simply said the bag cost too much.
It's possible the employee was stating the bag was outrageously priced, I would agree with that. A second article I read on the matter said the employee tried to show Oprah the same bag in other materials. I tend to agree with the shop owner, this was probably a breakdown in communication.
I just get so sick and tired of the world, especially the media, screaming racist at the slightest incident. In my opinion, these are the people that WANT it to be racism. Otherwise, it's not a news worthy story.
If you haven't already, you can read about the incident here, http://music.yahoo.com/news/swiss-luxury-shop-denies-racism-towards-oprah-141207771.html.
What do you think? Assume it's racism or give people the benefit of the doubt and assume it's a miscommunication?
I keep seeing more and more news items like this one, http://shine.yahoo.com/parenting/-two-boys-suspended-for-pointing-pencils-like-guns-165811733.html.
I just don't understand what is wrong with people? It's reading articles like this that make me want to just home school my kids when the time comes. This really comes down to the question: why are schools being so hard on kids just playing and having fun.
How ridiculous can schools and their policies get. Every single kid, at one point in their life, has taken a random, every day object and used it as a "gun." Schools and parents (and yes, even some teachers) seem to be getting more paranoid about kids being kids. If they were not being malicious and were only playing between the two of them why the HECK would they get suspended?
I can get if they were in trouble for threatening to shoot someone, or for bullying others. But for just playing a pretend game with one another that is not at all harmful to anyone physically, mentally, or emotionally is just plain dumb. And to suspend the 7 year old, yes 7 years old, from school is just STUPID! If the school felt it needed to punish the kids then start with something small like detention or some kind of essay writing assignment, don't just jump ahead and suspend them.
I just imagine what the rules for school will be like by the time I have kids:
- no playing like your shooting or stabbing at others: as this will make others believe you are a dangerous criminal
- no using objects of any kind as a weapon: the object will be confiscated, if you used your fingers as a gun those will be cut off and confiscated as well
- no running: only criminals have a reason to run
- no yelling: only abusers yell
- no laughing: only bullies laugh at others, and when you are laughing we must assume it is at someone else and therefore bullying
- no sneezing: this leads to others to say "Bless you" which is shortened from "God bless you." There is not religion allowed in school
What a sad state our country is in and I don't see it getting better any time soon.
I started watching a movie last night with Jason Statham in it called In the Name of the King. I figured with Jason Statham in the movie, it's gotta be pretty good, right? At least good action if nothing else. Man, was I ever wrong.
To give you a clue about how bad this movie was it also has Ron Perlman and Matthew Lilard. That's right, I said Matthew Lilard, who has only ever done well in one role, Shaggy from Scooby Doo. And the only decent job I've ever seen Ron Perlman do in a movie was when he played Hellboy, even then I wasn't a big fan.
Even the actors that would normally do at least a decent job in a film seemed to have gone out of their way to make the movie as completely painful as possible, and I only watched about 30 minutes of it before I couldn't take the torture anymore.
I wonder if this movie was made as a joke and was not intended to be taken seriously. If this was the case, then congratulation everyone, you did a FANTASTIC job!
I've heard this said in several tv shows and movies. One character kisses someone not their significant other, or has sex or whatever. They get caught, and what do they say? "It meant nothing" LIES! It does mean something, maybe not necessarily to the cheater but it certainly means something to the person being cheated on. Now, this has never happened to me so I'm just going based off how I think it would feel.
If my boyfriend/husband kissed another woman while he is in a relationship with me It would mean everything to me. It would mean he's interested in someone else, it would mean he doesn't love me, it would mean he can't really be trusted. It would mean he just plain flat out doesn't care about me or our relationship. Like I said, I've never had the misfortune to experience this myself and I know people make mistakes, but every time I hear those words, "it meant nothing," I wait for the cheated on to rebut with "it meant something to me." But alas, I am always disappointed. Why do writers not think of that. The one that gets hurt never flat out tells the cheater that it was not meaningless, that "it meant" nothing is a BIG FAT LIE.
